A while back, the Western Ag Reporter out of Billings, Montana, had a nifty little article offering wise advice for budding new ranch wives. I eagerly read it but had to write back with a concerning question. Below is my letter.
Dear Linda,
Recently you wrote a post for women who are new to the ranch. One of the first things you mentioned was to make sure you count everything, every time. I have taken your advice to heart as I endeavor to be a top-notch female ranch-hand someday.
However, I find myself in a counting conundrum as I am having difficulty knowing when to say when. I am counting everything. For example, there were 14 deer behind the eight mailboxes on the road. There were five calves taking a nap this afternoon, six if you count the orphan. There are two horses, three bulls, five barn cats, one indoor cat and a dog. There were 10 replacement heifers this morning, there were 10 replacement heifers who came to feed tonight and there were 10 replacement heifers after feeding tonight (no one got ate).
Admittedly, when things get a little “active,” I have forgotten to count. Like the time we were trying to sort the black cows from the cows that were not all black. It may be worthwhile to know that some of these black cows are a bit “rangey” and shoving 65 cows into 12 panels can get a little exciting. I know you know where this is going but, about halfway through the process of dodging wild-eyed bovines on their way out the gate, Curtis looks at me and says, “You’ve been counting, right?” My first thought was how badly I had let you down. My apologies, Linda.
I have found one neat trick though, which I am sure a Master Ranch Hand such as yourself already knows, and that is the art of rounding. Caution to not use this on livestock, however. But, for instance,you can say, there are about 30 goats at the neighbors, or approximately $10 in the checkbook and even, the Co-op bill will be nearly $500. That works pretty slick too.
With all of this counting, I am afraid that I will some day count myself to sleep! Thank you for your sage words of advice. I promise to keep it up until I am either a master counter or a master BS’er.
Yours truly,
Tammi Fladager
